Thursday, 10 June 2010

Here comes the summer! The violent season!

Here comes the summer! The violent season! Guillaume Apollinaire (1880-1918)

June brings with it sweeping changes to our country. The Coalition government are announcing cuts left right and centre. “With a slash slash here and a cut cut there, here a slash, there a slash.. everywhere a cut cut..”

Dark rumbles of disapproval can be clearly heard already on the back benches. The peasants are revolting! But enough about the Lib Dems.. Cameron and Clegg seem to be in a world of their own; playing with our public services and welfare system as though they were blocks of Lego.

I wont blog on the Cuts, I ll leave that to the far more capable and informed “Growd-Ups” but I will give you my take on one of the side-effects of this new, modern Parliament.

Among the changes is one which causes me much amusement. The timing of Cabinet Meetings have been moved in order for Cameron and Clegg to do the School Run.. Now, forgive me if I am wrong but are they not supposed to be running our country rather than acting as housekeepers? Clegg has always been the children's main carer as he has a “powerful lawyer” for a wife and she is the main breadwinner.. Great! Admirable even but perhaps he should have considered that before he jumped into bed with David Cameron? There is no room for his kids in that particular divan, King-size though it may be. Power is a terrible affliction on family life... So, what to do? Lets change the working hours in Parliament to suit...! Genius.. Flexi-Time for MP s? But why stop there? Lets all join in!

Surgeon “Can you expect me when you see me, little Tommy has a cut knee”

Teacher “Sorry I'm late class, the dry-cleaners don't open until 9.00 ”

“Allo Allo, what's going on 'ere then? Oh, too late? The burglar left an hour ago? Well, I had to take Buster to the Vet first”

Clegg “Can you postpone my DPMQs today, Miguel has done a number 2 , need to change his nappy”

David Cameron “Yes, simply dreadful news Barak but Corrie is just starting , I ll call you back..”

“Your Majesty, its DC here.. cant make our usual Tuesday, Gracie has a swimming lesson”..

Yes, maybe I exaggerate but already we have seen the very first PMQs of this new Parliament being delayed to allow MP s travelling time and Cabinet meetings switched to later in the day to accommodate school runs. Where will it end? Dave burping baby whilst finger painting in between meetings or debates? Enough nursery school behaviour in the chamber already without adding to it..


  1. Gideon Osbourne is probably one of the kids that needs babysitting, Its scary how much they are trying to keep him from public scrutiny. Considering the drastic cuts they are proposing.

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